Sid's Recovery

I wonder what it really means to be "entirely ready to have God remove all [my] defects of character". Does it mean that I'm ready for Him to take control of my life, without me doing anything different? Or, could it mean that I am now willing to surrender all my known choices to the Kingship of my Lord and Savior -- no matter the consequences? The following quote has helped me to better understand this process.

"True success in any line of work is not the result of chance or accident or destiny. It is the outworking of God's providences, the reward of faith and discretion, of virtue and perseverance. Fine mental qualities and a high moral tone are not the result of accident. God gives opportunities; success depends upon the use made of them.

As the Lord co-operated with Daniel and his fellows, so He will co-operate with all who strive to do His will. And by the impartation of His Spirit He will strengthen every true purpose, every noble resolution. Those who walk in the path of obedience will encounter many hindrances. Strong, subtle influences may bind them to the world; but the Lord is able to render futile every agency that works for the defeat of His chosen ones; in His strength they may overcome every temptation, conquer every difficulty." (PK 486-487)

"Were entirely ready to have God remove all these defects of character." (Step 6)

"And when he came to himself, he said, How many hired servants of my father's have bread enough and to spare, and I perish with hunger! I will arise and go to my father, and will say unto him, Father, I have sinned against heaven, and before thee, And am no more worthy to be called thy son: make me as one of thy hired servants. And he arose, and came to his father. But when he was yet a great way off, his father saw him, and had compassion, and ran, and fell on his neck, and kissed him." (Luke 15:17-20)

When I came to myself -- realizing the depth of my depravity -- I too was compelled to humble myself, through confession of my hidden life of sin. In so doing, I too was extended compassion, rather than condemnation. For me, it was the beginning of a lifetime process of coming to God as an errant son, seeking grace and healing.

God's response to me has always been that of the prodigal's father -- absolute, loving acceptance, with help and hope for tomorrow.

"Humble yourselves in the sight of the Lord, and he shall lift you up." (James 4:10) "Humble yourselves therefore under the mighty hand of God, that he may exalt you in due time:" (1 Peter 5:6)

"Admitted to God, to ourselves, and to another human being the exact nature of our wrongs." (Step 5)

"We won’t dare to place ourselves in the same league or to compare ourselves with some of those who are promoting themselves. When they measure themselves by themselves, and compare themselves with themselves, they have no understanding." (2 Corinthians 10:12)

Rather than making a difficult inventory of my own moral condition (introspection), it is much easier to make an extrospective (examining what is outside yourself) inventory of my environment and/or of other people. I would much rather compare myself with you than to look inside to compare myself with Jesus, and His direction in my life. But, when I choose extrospection, I lose a wonderful opportunity for emotional and spiritual well-being.

Introspection is often painful because of the mess we are likely to find in ourselves. Most are unwilling to take this step, finding it much too depressing to even consider. I would like to suggest that this commonly held view is due to our lack of trust and lack of understanding.

If I don't believe that God will help me overcome those sins which so easily beset me (Hebrews 12:1), then introspection could lead me into deep depression. Conversely, if I have total confidence that God is willing, able, and desiring to give me peace and to make me whole, then introspection becomes a privilege! It becomes a tool to help me understand why I am the way I am. It helps me to know what to pray for. It helps me to know what sort of situations and/or people to avoid. It helps me to understand the direction my life needs to take. And the list of benefits goes on and on...

The good news is that no matter how ugly the results of introspection, it is still true that "I can do all things through Christ which strengtheneth me." (Philippians 4:13) And, it is still true that Christ will never leave me, nor forsake me :-) (Hebrews 13:5).

"Made a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves." (Step 4)

"Behold, I stand at the door, and knock: if any man hear my voice, and open the door, I will come in to him, and will sup with him, and he with me." (Revelation 3:20)

This invitation from Jesus becomes extremely meaningful to us whenever we recognize our own powerlessness to do any good thing (Step 1) and begin to believe in His loving all-powerfulness to deliver us from our dependencies and restore use to sanity (Step 2).

In Revelation 3:20, Christ demonstrates His love for us. Even though we are sinners, Christ not only died to pay the penalty for our sins (Romans 5:8), but He continually "knocks" at the "door" of our heart -- seeking to fill us with His loving Spirit. He longs to work in us to do His good pleasure (Philippians 2:13), but He can't do that without our cooperation. So, He gently "knocks", using His "still small" voice (1 Kings 19:12) to speak to our conscience.

He doesn't barge in and clean house, just because we gave Him permission to do that sometime in the past. No, it is a continual process. It is always our choice. Will we trust Him enough to obey -- leaving the consequences to Him? Or, will we choose to do our own thing when He prompts us to follow Him?

"Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God as we understood Him." (Step 3)