Sid's Recovery

"It is the spirit that quickeneth; the flesh profiteth nothing: the words that I speak unto you, they are spirit, and they are life." (John 6:63)

Addiction and codependency are sometimes defined as an unhealthy reliance on the control of people and/or things, for the purpose of satisfying our deepest spiritual and emotional needs. Instead, I choose to look to a Loving higher power, outside of myself, to fulfill my needs.

However, my tendency is to want to stand as judge and jury, really putting myself in the place of God, as I react to those around me. It's easy to get caught up in this grandiose thinking. But then I remember that I am powerless, without God (John 15:5). Then I remember all the times where my faulty wisdom has made choices that I will always regret. Then I consider Job, who was much more wise than I, when God rebuked him in his grandiosity (Job 38:1-41).

Then I realize that my judgments are not always just, but "The Lord knoweth how to deliver the godly out of temptations, and to reserve the unjust unto the day of judgment to be punished:" (2 Peter 2:9). And, I remember that only God's judgments are just (John 5:30).

So, rather than continuing to blame others for my problems, I choose to surrender my judgmental feelings to the only just judge, and rely on Him to restore me to sanity.

"Came to believe that a power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity." (Step 2)