Sid's Recovery

I was very good at isolating myself from everyone. I lived in a world of fantasy. There was no way I would tell anyone about my secret life, and I minimized my own perception of my thoughts and behaviors.

But, in 1994 I was hitting bottom. I had sunk so low that I was in serious need of positive change in my life. It was in June that I discovered the keys to victory over my 25-year addiction (surrender to God, after realizing my own powerlessness and learning to trust God). The very next day after my first victory, I began to realize my great depravity. As a result of this introspective process, I was convicted that I needed to come out of my isolation and tell some human being my story. This was the greatest challenge of my life.

I had admitted these things to myself and to God, but the thought of disclosing my secret life to another person was excruciatingly painful. It was because of my desire for recovery and because of a great conviction from God, that I chose someone and began my confession. My words came very slowly. The whole process took hours. But this was the beginning of the end of my isolation. As I disclosed my issues, it was as if a heavy weight was being lifted from my heart. This was a vital step which helped release me from the bondage of the previous 25 years.

As I look back now, I can see that this was one of the best decisions in my life. My dirty secrets were no longer secret. I began to become accountable for my sins. By God's grace, I no longer live in isolation. And, even though my past is not forgotten, by God's amazing grace, it is forgiven. I thank God and praise Him for this ancient tradition of confession.

"If we say that we have fellowship with him, and walk in darkness, we lie, and do not the truth: But if we walk in the light, as he is in the light, we have fellowship one with another, and the blood of Jesus Christ his Son cleanseth us from all sin. If we say that we have no sin, we deceive ourselves, and the truth is not in us. If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins, and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness." (1 John 1:6-9). "Confess your faults one to another, and pray one for another, that ye may be healed. The effectual fervent prayer of a righteous man availeth much." (James 5:16).

"Admitted to God, to ourselves, and to another human being the exact nature of our wrongs." (Step 5)