Sid's Recovery

"... Morning by morning he wakens me and opens my understanding to his will." (Isaiah 50:4) One of the greatest factors in my recovery process has been in allowing God to wake me in the morning to spend time with Him in prayer and meditation.

I didn't write this, but I wish I did, because it really expresses how I feel about "that sweet hour of prayer":

"In humble abandon, I come to the throne,
bringing my joy and my care,
seeking the heart of my Savior alone,
in that sweet hour of prayer.

Turning my heart from the charms of this life,
nothing could ever compare
to meeting the Father by faith drawing nigh,
in that sweet hour of prayer.

In that sweet hour of prayer,
knowing my Jesus is there;
the treasures of Heaven lay open and bare,
in that sweet hour of prayer
such a sweet hour of prayer.

Let us not become weary in trusting His way,
given to doubt and despair.
We can find strength and courage for each day,
in that sweet sweet hour of prayer."
(by Dick and Melodie Tunney)

Without this daily communion with my Savior, Lord and Friend, life is much more stressful and I am much more prone to fall to temptation. But when I start my day with God, and as I continue to seek Him and His will for me throughout the day, He gives me wisdom (James 1:5-7) and courage to deal with the challenges of each moment.

"Sought through prayer and meditation to improve our conscious contact with God as we understood Him, praying only for knowledge of His will for us and the power to carry that out." (Step 11)

As near as I can tell, there are only two great powers in this world -- The power of Goodness and the power of evil. Depending upon our learning history we may call these powers by different names. But I suspect that, deep down, nearly all recognize these two opposing forces at work in their lives.

Rather than focusing on the naming of these powers, Step 3 is all about which of these great powers we choose to ally ourselves with, to serve, and to obey. Will we continue to serve the god of self-centeredness who has led us into our destructive patterns of dysfunction? Or, will we choose to serve the God of goodness, mercy, and love -- who longs to deliver us from those behaviors that bring us so much pain -- the God that we declared in Step 2.

This is the God that will never leave us, nor forsake us, but rather will be with us and help us till the end... This is the God who would never lead us down paths that we would not choose for ourselves, if we could see the end from the beginning -- as He can.

And so, I invite you this day to choose you, whom you will serve. As for me and my house, we will serve the God of goodness, love, and deliverance -- the God of my understanding (Joshua 24:15).

"Let us therefore come boldly unto the throne of grace, that we may obtain mercy, and find grace to help in time of need." (Hebrews 4:16)

"Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God as we understood Him." (Step 3)

I came to believe that my higher power, God the Father through Jesus Christ, not only could restore me to sanity, but longs to do that good work in me. Here are some reasons why:

• I came to realize that I could NOT restore myself (Step 1), that I needed a higher power than myself.
• The angel said that Jesus "shall save his people from their sins". (Mt 1:21)
• Paul said that we are NOT "sufficient of ourselves to think anything as of ourselves; but our sufficiency is of God" (2 Cor 3:5).
• And that we can be "strengthened with might by his Spirit" (Eph 3:16).
• Jesus "is able also to save them to the uttermost that come unto God by him " (Heb 7:25).
• Jesus is "not willing that any should perish" (2 Peter 3:9) and is able to do "exceeding abundantly above all that we ask or think, according to the power that worketh in us" (Eph 3:20)
• But, my biggest reason for believing is because Jesus does all these things for me, as I put my trust more and more fully in Him and choose to follow Him (Step 3). This is why I can say with Paul, "I can do all things through Christ, who gives me strength" (Philippians 4:13).

"Whereby are given unto us exceeding great and precious promises: that by these ye might be partakers of the divine nature, having escaped the corruption that is in the world through lust" (2 Peter 1:4).

"Came to believe that a power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity." (Step 2)

"God whispers to us in our pleasures, speaks in our conscience, but shouts in our pains: it is His megaphone to rouse a deaf world." -- C. S. Lewis

And so, dear brothers and sisters, I plead with you to give your bodies to God because of all he has done for you. Let them be a living and holy sacrifice — the kind He will find acceptable. This is truly the way to worship Him. (Romans 12:1)

Having accepted my own powerlessness (John 5:19,30) and began to accept God as my only hope of living a victorious life (John 15:5), I learned that by giving my will to God I could have victories over all of my temptations.

Once I began practicing these first three steps, God began leading me through all the other steps, before I even knew what they were. If the thought of having to do 12 steps in order to deal with your pain frightens you, don't worry. It's these first three (I Can't..., God Can..., I Choose to let Him...) that really make the difference between a life of failure and a life filled with victory! Come, and experience the power!

Remember that "God has said, I will never fail you. I will never abandon you." (Hebrews 13:5)

"Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God as we understood Him." (Step 3)

Once we've learned to admit our powerlessness (John 5:19,30) and assent to God's all-powerfulness (Zephaniah 3:16-17), then we need to take action. But the action I took kept me bound in my addictions for 25 years.

I would continually try to try harder to resist the devil. I was in charge, trying to do hand-to-hand battle with the devil and I was the loser. Trying harder is a dialog between us and satan. How foolish is that?!

It wasn't until I began to surrender myself to God, in each moment of temptation, that I began to experience real victory. What's the difference? Rather than dialoging with satan, when I surrender my will to God, the dialog is between me and God. As a result, God has a dialog with satan. When that happens, satan loses and I win. But I only win because I admit my powerlessness, assent to God's all-powerfulness and take the action of submitting my will to God's. Then, God fights the battle for me -- and wins!

Deliverance does not come in my strength, but rather in my weakness (2 Cor 12:9). That's faith. That's why it was said of the people of faith in Hebrews 11 that, "out of weakness [they] were mad strong [and] waxed valiant in fight" (Hebrews 11:34).

He understands my weaknesses, "For we have not an high priest which cannot be touched with the feeling of our infirmities; but was in all points tempted like as we are, yet without sin. Let us therefore come boldly unto the throne of grace, that we may obtain mercy, and find grace to help in time of need." (Heb 4:15-16). All I ever have to ask, in times of temptation, is "Lord, what would you have me to do? (Acts 9:6). Whenever I do this -- with a surrendered spirit -- He gives me the victory. The victory is the Lord's, but it only happens with my cooperation. I can do nothing without Him (John 15:5), but "I can do all things through Christ which strengtheneth me." (Philippians 4:13).

One of my favorite authors has made numerous statements supporting this step of surrender. Here are just a couple. "When the Spirit of God takes possession of the heart, it transforms the life. Sinful thoughts are put away, evil deeds are renounced; love, humility, and peace take the place of anger, envy, and strife. Joy takes the place of sadness, and the countenance reflects the light of heaven… The blessing comes when by faith the soul surrenders itself to God." (DA 173). "As the will of man co-operates with the will of God, it becomes omnipotent. Whatever is to be done at His command may be accomplished in His strength. All His biddings are enablings." (COL 333).

And so, I must frequently ask the question, "Who’s in charge?" Is it me, or am I choosing God as, not only my Savior, but my Lord as well? This is my prayer: "Thine, O Jehovah, is the greatness, and the power, and the glory, and the victory, and the majesty: for all that is in the heavens and in the earth is thine; thine is the kingdom, O Jehovah, and thou art exalted as head above all." (1 Chronicles 29:11) -- Especially me.

"Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God as we understood Him." (Step 3)

"Then said Jesus unto his disciples, If any man will come after me, let him deny himself, and take up his cross, and follow me." (Matthew 16:24)

Many of us have had exceedingly great difficulty entering into the absolute surrender needed to fully follow Jesus. For many, this has to do with a misunderstanding of God that has led us to mistrust Him.

Absolute surrender makes us extremely vulnerable to the one to which we surrender. And, allowing ourselves to be vulnerable in the past, to people and to other gods, has brought devastating consequences. Because of this, we may be very hesitant to surrender to the God of the Bible. We may ask ourselves, is it really safe to do that? Or, will He let me down and abuse me like the others have?

For myself, like many others, it has been helpful to make a disconnect between God and those people who have wrongly represented God’s character by their abusiveness. I have come to understand that my God is so full of love that, even if I were the only sinner in the world, He would still have come down to this sinful world, lived as a man, and died for my sins. I know that I can trust my God. I am totally convinced that He will never lead me in any way that I would not choose to be lead myself, if I could see the future, as He sees it.

You may be thinking that you are not strong enough to enter into absolute surrender. But God has promised us that no matter how weak we are (2 Cor 12:9 ), and no matter how strong the temptation is, that He will provide a way of escape (1Cor 10:13 ), as we cooperate with Him, choosing to do His will in that moment of decision.

After I realized my own powerlessness over my addictions and came to believe that God, a power greater than myself, could restore my sanity, I began to learn about--and to practice--the principles of surrender. Each time a temptation would come, I would totally surrender myself to God, realizing my helplessness and His all-powerfulness, praying--like Paul when he was stuck down with the glory of Jesus—‘Lord, what would you have me to do?’ I can testify to you today that, every time I have cooperated with Divine agencies in this way, God has turned my powerlessness into victory! Without fail, He has delivered—-and continues to deliver—-me from temptation. This is how (I believe) God is creating within me a new heart (Ezekiel 36:26 ). Each time I surrender in this way, my faith is strengthened, my heart towards God is softened and more and more those things that I once loved, I am learning to hate. And, the principles of God’s kingdom are becoming more and more desirable. I praise God for recovery!

"Now unto him that is able to keep you from falling, and to present you faultless before the presence of his glory with exceeding joy, To the only wise God our Saviour, be glory and majesty, dominion and power, both now and ever. Amen." (Jude 1:24,25)

"Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God as we understood Him." (Step 3)