Sid's Recovery

I believe that there are only two great powers in the Universe. There’s the power of good – the power of infinite, unimaginable love. This is the power that gives us humans the freedom of choice, as to whom we will serve. Then, there is the power of evil – unimaginable evil. This is the power that continually strives to enslave us through his deviant lies. We commonly refer to these two great powers as God and the enemy, or satan.

But there is a problem using the name God, when referring to this great and wonderful power of love. This is largely due to the fact that the vast majority of people who call themselves Christian exhibit behaviors that mirror the attitudes of the enemy – behaviors that are far from being that of a loving, higher-power. I am qualified to speak of this, because, in so doing, I am speaking of myself. You see, I have been a “Christian” all my life. But, in spite of that, I’ve had all these deviant behaviors, and I’m quite sure that, as a result of this, I have turned many off to Christianity. So, what’s with that? I went to church every weekend. I studied my Bible. I held offices in the church. Most people thought of me as a good Christian. I talked the “talk”, but I sure didn’t walk the “walk”.

More recently, it has become clear to me that there are very few spiritual Christians in church – any church. In fact, there is some pretty good evidence that there are more spiritual Christians outside of the church than there are on the inside. Now, I need to be very clear right now that I’m not speaking against belonging to a church. I love my church and I have no intention of leaving it.

My point is this: if you have been offended by so-called “Christians”, as I have been, I want to apologize to you right now. As far as I know, I’ve not offended any of you, but I have offended many. And this, I deeply regret. So please, do not let evil behavior of carnal Christians skew your view of God. When I exhibit deviant behavior, I am NOT representing my Heavenly Father but rather the father of all evil – satan himself. You see, satan would have us to believe that God is evil and he will go to any length to achieve his goals.

So, who is this God that I am learning to love more and more each passing day? This is the God who left the place of infinite glory and power to become a tiny, helpless human infant in this horribly evil and primitive world. This is the God who grew to human manhood without using His Divine power to in anyway help His own human flesh. This is the God who can help me, because He was tempted in all points like as I am, while NEVER yielding to the constant temptations of satan. This is the God, who in human flesh, admitted, that of Himself, He could do NOTHING. That’s my Jesus! Jesus gives me courage to admit to myself, and others, that I can, of myself, do no good thing.

Jesus is the God who blessed and healed every honest soul who He came in contact with. Jesus is the God who allowed Himself to be falsely accused and beaten unmercifully without one word of complaint. Jesus is the God who while being nailed to that old rugged cross, cried out, “Father, forgive them, for they know not what they do!” Jesus is the God who died to pay the penalty for my sins and yours, and then was raised again to newness of life, just as we have the privilege to do when we take up our cross and follow Him. That’s my Jesus! That’s my God!

My God loves you and me with an everlasting, infinite love that we cannot even begin to fathom! Do you know my Jesus? Do you love my Jesus? In my carnal nature, I have sunk lower than a snake’s belly and yet He has always been there for me with His unconditional love to pick me up and gently guide me from where I was to a better place. That’s my Jesus!

If you have drifted away from God, do realize how easy it is to come back? Even if you’ve never given your heart to God, His arms are open wide right now to totally accept you as one of His chosen ones. All He needs is your heart. The Bible says, if you will confess your sins to Him that He will not only freely forgive you, but He will also cleanse you from all unrighteousness! This is justification – He wipes your record clean, just as if you had never sinned! He replaces your past, sinful record with Jesus’ perfect record. He will give you a fresh, new start! Praise God!!

Continued...

"Came to believe that a power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity." (Step 2)

26-year-old Nancy’s life was fast falling apart when she approached Pastor Frank. For 3 days in a row, Nancy kept coming back and pouring out all her troubles. Despite the previous attempts of several marriage counselors, her marriage was failing. She had her baby girl with her as she pleaded for help. This baby was Nancy and her husband’s final attempt to restore their marriage, but it wasn’t working. Eventually, Pastor Frank said, “Nancy, here is something that could help. He handed her this quote:

“The Father’s presence encircled Christ, and nothing befell Him but that which infinite love permitted for the blessing of the world. Here was His source of comfort, and [so] it is for us. He who is imbued (permeated or saturated) with the Spirit of Christ, abides (dwells, rests, continues, stands firm) in Christ. The blow that is aimed at him falls upon the Savior, who surrounds him with His presence (hugged by Jesus). Whatever comes to him comes from Christ. He has no need to resist evil, for Christ is his defense. Nothing can touch him except by our Lord’s permission, and ‘all things’ that are permitted ‘work together for good to them that love God.’ (Romans 8:28).” (Thoughts from the Mount of Blessing p71)

The following day, Nancy returned to see the pastor, along with her non-Christian husband. Pastor Frank told them that if just one of them would follow these principal’s their marriage could be saved and if both of them would do it they could have a relationship beyond what they thought was possible. Then he had prayer with them.

Nancy left with a firm commitment to accept everything that touched her life as coming from Christ. Her husband did not. In fact, he did everything he could to make her life a living hell. But Nancy remained committed to accept everything he dished out in a Christ-like manner. It took 3 months for his heart to soften then they began to enjoy a relationship that they previously thought was impossible. It was as if heaven had opened up in their lives.

One day Nancy and her husband decided to go sightseeing in the mountains and left the baby with her in-laws. Grandma laid the baby on the couch then sat down to read a book. Before long, they both fell asleep. When Grandma woke up, her granddaughter was eating the last of the pills that she had accidently left beside the couch. Grandma was paralyzed with fear – unable to do anything to help. When Nancy and her husband returned from their trip and entered the home, they quickly realized what had happened, picked up the pill bottle and the baby, who was now comatose, and rushed her to the emergency room. Within an hour the baby was dead.

The news spread quickly. Members of Nancy’s church started coming to her home, offering their sympathies – which Nancy accepted. As a result, Nancy began to experience the same type of bitterness and resentment in her heart that she had experienced prior to meeting with Pastor Frank. It occurred to her that she had accepted everything that touched her life as coming from Christ – but not this. She went into her bedroom, fell to her knees, and confessed to God her lack of trust in Him. She was totally honest with God about her pain. She said, “I don’t like or understand why this happened, but I do trust You, Father. You know what you are doing. Please help my lack of trust.

A few minutes later, the doorbell rang – more church members coming to offer their sympathies. Nancy raised her hand and said I don’t want to be rude or insensitive but I do not want your sympathies. I want you to understand that a year ago I gave my life and the life of my daughter to God. Please pray with me and praise God for working in our lives. Well, this same scenario played out a few more times, until word finally got out that Nancy did not want sympathy.

When Nancy’s in-laws came for a visit, they told Nancy that they had been watching her over the last year and had witnessed an incredible change in her life. They had seen no resentment in her over the death of her baby – which they did not understand. They said, “If God can work a transformation in your life like this, we believe He can do it in us too, can we come to church with you?” A short time later they took their stand in baptism.

Not long after that, when Nancy’s husband got home from work one day, he told Nancy that she was not the same girl that he had married. The change he had seen in her and his parents brought him conviction. He wanted the same experience. He too was later baptized as he began a born-again relationship with God.

Just as the sun of the daytime melts butter and hardens clay, so does the Spirit of the Son of God use the trials of this world to strengthen our character, as we let Him. The question is, “Do we have the kind of trust in God that melts us to surrender all to Him?”

I wonder what difference it would have made if Nancy had made different choices……….? I wonder what difference it would make if I were to always show extreme trust in God?

"Now unto him who is able to keep you from falling, and to present you faultless before the presence of his glory with exceeding joy, to the only wise God our Saviour, be glory, majesty, dominion, and power, both now and forever. Amen." (Jude 1:24-25)

"Came to believe that a power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity." (Step 2)

There seems to be something about the way that we humans are made that causes us to need to worship (love, admire, pay homage to) someone or some thing. Unfortunately, we tend to try to fill that need with things we can see, or make ourselves. Of course this is nothing new. You probably remember what the children of Israel did when Moses left them for awhile to be with God: "And they forsook all the commandments of Jehovah their God, and made them molten images, even two calves, and made an Asherah, and worshipped all the host of heaven, and served Baal." (2 Kings 17:16). I'm not so sure that we are much different today.

In this age of advanced technology, we may worship some of the things that it brings us over the Internet, such as shopping, gaming, porn, etc... Or, maybe we worship the things that tend to accumulate over time. Really, it could be anything.

For some, it maybe another human that we worship. It could be that special someone that we spend a great deal of time with. For others, it could be a charismatic pastor that we give our homage to.

Really, the list of people or things that we put in the place of God is endless. The problem is that none of this fills our need of worship anywhere near as well as does our Creator. "And the people believed: and when they heard that Jehovah had visited the children of Israel, and that he had seen their affliction, then they bowed their heads and worshipped." (Exodus 4:31)

Likewise, as I remember the incredible love of God for me, how He paid the price of death for my sins, and how He has looked upon the affliction of my dependencies, how He provides for all of my needs, I am reminded that only God is worthy of all of my worship.

"Came to believe that a power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity." (Step 2)

"It is the spirit that quickeneth; the flesh profiteth nothing: the words that I speak unto you, they are spirit, and they are life." (John 6:63)

Addiction and codependency are sometimes defined as an unhealthy reliance on the control of people and/or things, for the purpose of satisfying our deepest spiritual and emotional needs. Instead, I choose to look to a Loving higher power, outside of myself, to fulfill my needs.

However, my tendency is to want to stand as judge and jury, really putting myself in the place of God, as I react to those around me. It's easy to get caught up in this grandiose thinking. But then I remember that I am powerless, without God (John 15:5). Then I remember all the times where my faulty wisdom has made choices that I will always regret. Then I consider Job, who was much more wise than I, when God rebuked him in his grandiosity (Job 38:1-41).

Then I realize that my judgments are not always just, but "The Lord knoweth how to deliver the godly out of temptations, and to reserve the unjust unto the day of judgment to be punished:" (2 Peter 2:9). And, I remember that only God's judgments are just (John 5:30).

So, rather than continuing to blame others for my problems, I choose to surrender my judgmental feelings to the only just judge, and rely on Him to restore me to sanity.

"Came to believe that a power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity." (Step 2)

The Lord is not slack concerning his promise, ... but is longsuffering to us-ward, not willing that any should perish... (2 Peter 3:9).

Early on in our recovery process, like the father who cried out, "Lord, I believe; help thou mine unbelief" (Mark 9:24), we begin to realize that there is a higher power that is willing (2 Peter 3:9) and able (Ephesians 3:20) to deliver us from our dysfunction.

This may not be the god of our fathers. This God may not even be recognizable by most Christians. When abused by so-called Christians, many look away from Christianity to find a loving Higher Power. In many cases, I believe they find the same (one and only) true God -- just by a different name.

What ever we call our loving Higher Power, we find in this Power a willingness to deliver us from our sins (Matthew 1:21), which bring us so much pain.

"Came to believe that a power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity." (Step 2)