Post details: What's in it for me?


Permalink 08:31:35 am, Step(s): 09 Making Amends, 265 words   English (US)

What's in it for me?

Choosing to make amends, assumes that we have already confessed these things to God, who has consequently forgiven us. That forgiveness, as well as loving acceptance is assured (1 John 1:9 ). So, when we confess/apologize those whom we've wronged, we tend to expect that same acceptance and forgiveness that we have received of God. But these expectations are sometimes frustrated because these are sinful humans, just like us.

I have come to have low expectations of the response that my amends will generate in others. I realize that they may not be ready to make amends or even to forgive me. After all, at one time, I wasn't ready either. So, why should I expect them to be?

Since God has already forgiven me, and the person (whom I need to make amends to) may not forgive me or even acknowledge that they too need to make amends, then what could it possibly benefit me (or them) to follow through with this amends?! Maybe there is a clue here: "And as ye would that men should do to you, do ye also to them likewise. And judge not, and ye shall not be judged: and condemn not, and ye shall not be condemned: release, and ye shall be released:" (Luke 6:31,37 ). "For if ye forgive men their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if ye forgive not men their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses." (Matthew 6:14,15 ).

Forgiveness... It looks like I need to forgive before I can really make amends. But once I have forgiven, then my amends becomes a gift to that person. The acceptance of that gift is not my goal nor expectation. The benefit to me is mostly in my giving. "give, and it shall be given unto you; good measure, pressed down, shaken together, running over, shall they give into your bosom. For with what measure ye mete it shall be measured to you again." (Lk 6:38 )

So, what's in it for me? Peace, the peace of God, and the good gifts of God. It's another step in my recovery process. It's about furthering my personal character development. That's what's in it for me. And, personally, I think it's worth whatever it takes!

"Made direct amends to such people wherever possible, except when to do so would injure them or others." (Step 9)

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