Sid's Recovery

As I continue to take a daily personal inventory of myself, I first consider my relationship with God. Am I still yielding my will to His? Do I still trust Him enough to surrender my self to Him in the moment of temptation?

Then I must consider my human relationships. Is there anyone whom I have wronged that I've not made amends to? If so, not only do I need to pursue the making of amends, but it's also helpful to try to identify why I did that. Are my basic needs, as a human being not being met?

The book, "Serenity, A Companion for Twelve Step Recovery" identifies five components (starting on page 67) of this ongoing recovery process:

1) Are my basic human need for love, acceptance, and security being met? And do I even recognize those needs?

2) What are my feelings? Am I hiding feelings of grief that need to be expressed? Am I having feelings of rejection? I especially need to watch for feelings of resentment because "resentment covers anger, anger covers hurt, hurt usually covers fear, and ... the deepest fear is that our basic human needs are not going to be met."

3) Am I using any codependent and/or addictive means of trying to get my needs met? Am I manipulative or over controlling? Am I perfectionistic or compulsive? Am I playing the martyr or the victim in sick relationships? Am I trying to "rescue" or enable other people's sick behaviors? If I'm doing any of these, I need to consider what personal needs am I trying to meet by these bogus means.

4) Am I holding appropriate boundaries and am I respecting the boundaries of others? There is a delicate line between being too rigid and keeping people out when needed. It's also a delicate line between being too fragile and letting people into my life as needed. Can I say yes when I should say yes, and say no when I should say no? And, do I respect other's yeses and noes regarding their boundaries? If I've violated boundaries, I need to make amends, where possible.

5) Do I admit my wrongs promptly? If not, the temptation is to rationalize my wrongs. If I do that, these may become resentments against others which will likely sabotage my recovery.

"Continued to take personal inventory, and when we were wrong, promptly admitted it." (Step 10)